I am at a Peet’s Coffee Shop and...
December 5, 2023 | My Thoughts | By: Taylor Cole
I am at a Peet’s Coffee Shop and I am getting ready for an informational interview that I secretly hope will lead to some kind of job offer or work opportunity. All of this pressure leading up to an ideal outcome that I’ve played out in my head a million times.
But isn’t that the issue?
We dream these big dreams and perceived outcomes in hope that all of our hard work will pay off, like we “earned it” or something. We believe to our very core that if “A” happens that “B” will come from it. If I just show up and prove myself to the people around me, I will be well-liked in my workplace. If I just spend 30 more minutes perfecting my Lightroom editing skills, then I can charge more money for my services. If I just do all the little things right like brushing my teeth every night, making the bed, keeping up on the laundry and meal prepping, I will be more productive than ever before. If I just work hard enough at my craft, then I will make that $100K salary that I always wanted.
Are these thoughts just my own?
That’s right, I know you think them too and we all do! It’s the “American Dream” of if you can think it, you can do it. It’s what we are sold on externally and we’ve now internalized it to our own thought processes.
We make these promises to ourselves that leave us in a constant form of waiting. We are waiting for perfection to bring us all the satisfaction we’ve told ourselves would come. If we do it all the “right way”, it WILL come. Or more dangerously, we wait and wait until we fail at waiting for it all. We stop doing the routines, we stop showing up because we aren’t experiencing the fruitfulness of our labors and it just straight up SUCKS to do all the right things and not see it all turn out like we thought it would.
But isn’t that the issue?
Just say that out loud for me: “It’s not turning out like I thought it would” and don’t tell me you’ve never thought that thought before, because I know every single one of us has thought this at least once.
So what’s the solution? Here I am telling you about the unfortunate human condition of wanting, willing, working, waiting and ultimately failing until we start the process all over again. So, I could tell you to stop dreaming and just expect that things aren’t going to go your way, but that’s kind of a pessimistic way to live, right? There has to be something more, some other way to still dream and hope for outcomes, right?
Well, I am at a Peet’s Coffee Shop and about to walk into this informational interview and I am realizing that my hopes and dreams are built a lot more on fear than the promise I already know to be true. Am I hoping to land a job offer because I know that God has something in store for me that is greater than I could ever imagine? Or, am I hoping to land a job offer because if I don’t, then I am going to have to find another way to support myself and pay my bills so I don’t end up in debt, or worse?
The latter is true of my current condition and it always kind of has been. I’ve done it all and I’ve grown weary, tired, depressed, embarrassed, defensive, anxious, you name it! All of these things are true when your hopes are based in the fears of failure and simply, not being enough.
But here's the reality...
God promises us an alternative hope. Our hopes can be based on the fact that he’s already got it figured out and all we have to do is live our lives in that freedom. When our hopes are based in this reality, it’s not as simple as 1+1=2, which is what fear based hope wants us to think. This kind of hope is more optimistic, less reactive and truly more creative and exciting. Our lows aren’t as low when we know there is a purpose. The no’s we get aren’t as harsh because we see it as an invitation to something new. The sadness and disappointments are less: end all be all, and more an opportunity to grow in our emotional intelligence.
It’s all over the Bible and it’s all over our lives: when we place our hope on perceived outcomes, it may work for a while, even years, but in the end, it will fail. We will walk away defeated, lonely and afraid, over and over again until we stop the cycle.
Today, although difficult, I am choosing to stop the cycle. I am at a Peet’s Coffee shop and about to walk into an informational interview and I am putting my hope in that God will use this as an opportunity to learn, grow and trust in all the plans he has for me, because that right there is the true, living, breathing hope.